ADDRESSING BULLYING: Options for Parents
WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?
This is a question frequently asked by parents, social workers, and teachers. There are numerous informative books written on this topic. Unfortunately, sometimes parents simply do not have all the answers and do not have complete control over what happens. We as parents can only do our best. Here are a few tips parents have found helpful.
This is a question often asked by parents, social workers, and teachers. While many informative books have been written on this topic, parents sometimes find themselves without all the answers and unable to control every situation. As parents, we can only do our best. Here are a few tips that parents have found helpful.
Note: It is your right to ensure your child is protected. Trust your instincts!
Create a Safe Space for Open Discussion: Foster a home environment where it’s safe for your child to discuss anything.
Teach Confident Posture: Encourage your child to maintain a confident posture. Bullies are often predators who initially target potential victims based on physical appearance. Standing tall, keeping the chin up, and pulling the shoulders back can help your child avoid being noticed by a bully.
Promote Eye Contact: Teach your child to make eye contact, as it conveys self-confidence.
Value Family Traditions and Rituals: Family traditions and rituals can instill feelings of safety and belonging. For example, having a family dinner on Sunday nights to discuss the upcoming week and reflect on the weekend can provide a sense of security.
Reassure Children About Seeking Help: Make sure your child understands that talking to a teacher, especially a parent, about a bully is not wrong. Often parents become the first line of defense.
Encourage Avoidance of Unsafe Areas; Teach your child to avoid areas where they may be bullied and to never be alone in remote locations.
Nurture Friendships: Bullies are less likely to target children who have a strong support system or are part of a group. Help your child develop strong friendships through playdates, birthday parties, or by joining after-school activities that friends also attend.
Enroll in Confidence-Building Activities: Consider enrolling your child in activities that make them feel unique and build self-confidence, such as martial arts, dance, swim team, art school, or chess club. As a father and mental health professional, I believe that martial arts can provide children with self-confidence, self-defense skills, a sense of belonging, and an understanding of their uniqueness. Participation in any organized activity is beneficial, as children involved in teams or clubs often develop stronger coping mechanisms and are less likely to be bullied.
Get to Know Friends and School Policies: Parents should try to know all their children’s friends and become familiar with school policies on bullying.
Start an Anti-Bullying Neighborhood Watch: Parents can consider starting a local anti-bullying neighborhood watch group.
Never Allow Blaming or Defending a Bully: Do not permit your child to take the blame or defend a bully. For example, statements like, "He only hit me because I was walking too slowly. It’s not his fault, he’s a nice guy—I’m just annoying, so he punches me in the arm," should be corrected to help your child understand that such behavior is not acceptable.
Addressing bullying requires a proactive and compassionate approach from parents. By creating a safe environment for open discussions, teaching confidence-building skills, and fostering strong friendships, parents can empower their children to navigate challenging situations with resilience. It's important to remain vigilant, know the warning signs, and be familiar with school policies. Remember, no child should ever feel responsible for a bully’s actions. By taking these steps, parents can help protect their children and contribute to a culture of kindness and respect in their communities.
Eugene Roginsky, LCSW, CEO of Bridge2Horizon Psychotherapy and Counseling Services in Lake County, Illinois, frequently collaborates with parents to navigate difficult conversations with their children on sensitive topics such as violence, anxiety, bullying, grief, and family dynamics. His approach is rooted in providing compassionate guidance to help families foster open communication and emotional resilience. To discuss your family's needs, please schedule a complimentary consultation.
