Finding Heroes: How Parents Can Guide Kids Beyond Social Media

Children are naturally looking for heroes and role models, and it’s important for parents to be actively involved in this process. If parents are not, children may find their mentors and authority figures online, often on platforms like YouTube. By being vigilant about the media their children consume, parents can help foster a more balanced and thoughtful approach to entertainment and learning, nurturing their children’s interests and sense of wonder in healthier ways.

In an age where digital screens dominate our daily lives, it's crucial for parents to actively monitor the social media content their children consume. The presence of technology poses significant risks, including prolonged exposure to harmful blue light, which can affect sleep patterns and vision. Furthermore, the addictive nature of many social media platforms, often filled with mindless or even dangerous content, can detract from healthier activities. Instead, parents should encourage their children to engage with quality television shows, thought-provoking movies that can be discussed as a family, and, most importantly, reading, which offers more enriching and beneficial alternatives.

Before delving into the role parent can play, let’s quickly address the risks unsupervised social media can have on a young individual.

1.    Exposure to Inappropriate Content: Despite parental controls, children can still encounter inappropriate language, themes, or behaviors not suitable for their age group on various social media platforms.

2.    Addictive Nature: Many social media platforms are designed to keep users engaged, leading to excessive screen time that can interfere with daily routines and responsibilities. Studies have shown that excessive social media use is associated with addictive behaviors similar to substance abuse (Andreassen et al., 2016).

3.    Commercialization and Manipulation: Children are often targeted by advertisements and influencer marketing, manipulating their desires and spending habits. This constant exposure to consumer culture can foster materialism and unrealistic expectations (Pew Research Center, 2019).

4.    Disruption of Sleep Patterns: The blue light emitted by screens can disrupt the production of melatonin, making it harder for children to fall asleep and get restful sleep (Chang et al., 2015).

5.    Impact on Mental Health: Studies have linked prolonged social media use with increased rates of anxiety and depression in children and adolescents. The constant comparison with others and exposure to idealized images can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem (Twenge et al., 2018).

6.    Body Dysmorphic Disorder: Social media platforms often emphasize physical appearance, leading to body dissatisfaction and dysmorphic concerns. Research indicates that higher social media usage is correlated with greater body image concerns among adolescents (Fardouly et al., 2015).

7.    Reduced Physical Activity: Excessive screen time can lead to a sedentary lifestyle, reducing opportunities for physical activity and increasing the risk of obesity and related health issues (Tremblay et al., 2011).

8.    Decreased Attention Span: Rapidly changing content and instant gratification on social media can negatively affect a child's ability to focus and concentrate on tasks (Rosen et al., 2013).

9.    Negative Behavioral Influence: Children may imitate dangerous or inappropriate behaviors seen on social media, not understanding the consequences of such actions. This can include risky challenges or pranks that can cause harm (O'Keeffe & Clarke-Pearson, 2011).

10. Reduced Face-to-Face Interaction: Excessive social media use can limit real-world social interactions, hindering the development of essential social skills and emotional intelligence. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness (Primack et al., 2017).

11. Misinformation and Fake News: Children are susceptible to believing false or misleading information presented on social media, which can distort their understanding of the world and lead to misconceptions. The spread of misinformation can have serious consequences, including health-related risks (Vosoughi et al., 2018).

12. Cyberbullying: Social media can be a platform for cyberbullying, which can have severe emotional and psychological effects on children. Victims of cyberbullying are at a higher risk of developing anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts (Kowalski et al., 2014).

By being aware of these potential dangers, parents can better monitor their children's social media use and ensure they engage with age-appropriate, healthy content.

Encouraging balanced media consumption, such as quality television, family discussions about movies, and reading, provides enriching and beneficial alternatives.

Helping children discover heroes requires intentional and consistent effort. Family traditions and activities should be organized around themes of discovering inspiring individuals and reviewing significant historical events. Here are some documented ways parents can help children find heroes and role models through various activities, reducing their dependence on social media:

Literature and Books

Encourage Reading: Introduce children to books featuring inspiring characters and real-life heroes. Biographies of historical figures, scientists, and adventurers can be particularly motivating.

Discuss Favorite Authors: Engage children in discussions about their favorite books and authors. Learning about the lives and achievements of these writers can inspire children to see them as heroes.

Sports and Extracurricular Activities

Enroll in Sports: Participation in sports can help children admire and emulate athletes who demonstrate perseverance, teamwork, and sportsmanship. Coaches can also serve as positive role models.

Explore Extracurricular Activities: Encourage children to participate in activities such as music, art, drama, or science clubs. These activities can help them find mentors and role models who excel in these fields.

Film and Television

Discuss Filmmakers and Actors: Talk to children about the creators of their favorite films and television shows. Learning about the hard work and creativity of directors, screenwriters, and actors can provide inspiration.

Watch Documentaries: Select documentaries about influential figures and discuss their contributions and qualities with your children.

Education and Learning

Introduce Inspirational Figures: Teach children about historical figures, inventors, and leaders during family discussions or through educational programs. Highlight the values and achievements that made these individuals noteworthy.

Visit Museums and Cultural Sites: Take children to museums, historical sites, and cultural events where they can learn about inspiring figures from various fields.

Community Involvement

Volunteer Work: Engage in volunteer activities as a family. This can introduce children to community leaders and activists who are making a positive impact.

Mentorship Programs: Enroll children in mentorship programs where they can be guided by older, more experienced individuals in their areas of interest.

Parental Involvement

Be a Role Model: Demonstrate the qualities you want your children to admire. Parents themselves can be heroes by embodying values such as kindness, perseverance, and integrity.

Open Conversations: Maintain open lines of communication with your children. Discuss their interests and help them find role models related to those interests.

Guiding children to discover role models involves providing options beyond social media and fostering their autonomy. When parents notice a child's fascination with a particular individual or character, exploring the reasons behind this interest is crucial for understanding and bonding with their child.

NOTE:

1.    Do not challenge your child. This can be a beautiful bonding process.

2.    Encourage meaningful conversations.

3.    Ask open ended questions.

4.    Share your own heroes when you were a child.

Example:

1.    Tell me about __.

2.    Do you remember when you first began to love ___?

3.    What __ special skills, talents, or mission?

4.    What are __ weaknesses?

5.    In which way are you and ___ the same?

6.    In which ways do you think you are different?

7.    What do you think ___ in this situation? What about you? What would you do?

In conclusion, parents and caregivers have a profound opportunity to help children discover heroes, mentors, and role models beyond the confines of social media platforms. While certain social media content can be educational and entertaining, excessive usage poses significant risks to children's well-being. Parents are not helpless; by actively guiding their children's interests towards more enriching experiences, they can mitigate the harmful effects of prolonged screen time. There is an entire world of knowledge, creativity, and inspiration waiting to be explored outside of social media. Every book a child picks up, every film they watch, and every comic or picture book they read has its own unique history, purpose, and story about its creator. These experiences offer invaluable lessons and introduce countless heroes who might otherwise be overlooked in the digital age. By fostering a balanced approach to entertainment and learning, parents can ensure their children grow up with a well-rounded perspective and a rich tapestry of role models to admire.

Eugene Roginsky is a licensed psychotherapist, children's book author, and keynote speaker based in Lincolnshire, Illinois. He frequently collaborates with parents to help children find meaning beyond the realm of social media. Eugene is passionate about merging psychology with creativity and often teaches courses on fostering creativity for students and corporate professionals. For more information, please visit www.Bridge2Horizon.com or www.GrowingWithStories.com

Resources 

Andreassen, C. S., Pallesen, S., & Griffiths, M. D. (2016). The relationship between addictive use of social media, narcissism, and self-esteem: Findings from a large national survey. Addictive Behaviors, 64, 287-293. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.addbeh.2016.03.006

Bailey, R., & Collins, D. (2013). The benefits of sports and physical education for young people. Journal of Sports Sciences, 31(13), 1367-1376. https://doi.org/10.1080/02640414.2013.786105

Chang, A.-M., Aeschbach, D., Duffy, J. F., & Czeisler, C. A. (2015). Evening use of light-emitting eReaders negatively affects sleep, circadian timing, and next-morning alertness. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 112(4), 1232-1237. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1418490112

Clark, C., & Teravainen, A. (2017). Reading for pleasure: A research overview. National Literacy Trust. Retrieved from https://literacytrust.org.uk/research-services/research-reports/reading-pleasure-research-overview/

Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). Social comparisons on social media: The impact of Facebook on young women's body image concerns and mood. Body Image, 13, 38-45. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2014.12.002

Kowalski, R. M., Giumetti, G. W., Schroeder, A. N., & Lattanner, M. R. (2014). Bullying in the digital age: A critical review and meta-analysis of cyberbullying research among youth. Psychological Bulletin, 140(4), 1073-1137. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035618

Marsh, J. (2000). Popular culture in the literacy curriculum: A move to critical literacy. Popular Culture in Education, 132-148. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/292612919_Popular_culture_in_the_literacy_curriculum_A_move_to_critical_literacy

O'Keeffe, G. S., & Clarke-Pearson, K. (2011). The impact of social media on children, adolescents, and families. Pediatrics, 127(4), 800-804. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2011-0054

Pew Research Center. (2019). Teens, Social Media & Technology 2018. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2018/05/31/teens-social-media-technology-2018/

Primack, B. A., Shensa, A., Escobar-Viera, C. G., Barrett, E. L., Sidani, J. E., Colditz, J. B., & James, A. E. (2017). Use of multiple social media platforms and symptoms of depression and anxiety: A nationally-representative study among U.S. young adults. Computers in Human Behavior, 69, 1-9. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2016.11.013

Rosen, L. D., Lim, A. F., Felt, J., Carrier, L. M., Cheever, N. A., Lara-Ruiz, J. M., Mendoza, J. S., & Rokkum, J. (2014). Media and technology use predicts ill-being among children, preteens and teenagers independent of the negative health impacts of exercise and eating habits. Computers in Human Behavior, 35, 364-375. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2014.01.036

Scales, P. C., Blyth, D. A., Berkas, T. H., & Kielsmeier, J. C. (2000). The effects of service-learning on middle school students' social responsibility and academic success. The Journal of Early Adolescence, 20(3), 332-358. https://doi.org/10.1177/0272431600020003004

Tremblay, M. S., LeBlanc, A. G., Janssen, I., Kho, M. E., Hicks, A., Murumets, K., & Colley, R. C. (2011). Canadian sedentary behaviour guidelines for children and youth. Applied Physiology, Nutrition, and Metabolism, 36(1), 59-64. https://doi.org/10.1139/H11-012

Twenge, J. M., Joiner, T. E., Rogers, M. L., & Martin, G. N. (2018). Increases in depressive symptoms, suicide-related outcomes, and suicide rates among U.S. adolescents after 2010 and links to increased new media screen time. Clinical Psychological Science, 6(1), 3-17. https://doi.org/10.1177/2167702617723376

Vosoughi, S., Roy, D., & Aral, S. (2018). The spread of true and false news online. Science, 359(6380), 1146-1151. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.aap9559