MY CHILD HAS A HARD TIME FALLING ASLEEP: Tips for Parents
Falling asleep can be a struggle for many children, often due to a variety of reasons. This common issue can lead to restless nights for both the child and their caregivers, impacting mood, behavior, and overall well-being. Understanding the underlying factors contributing to the child's sleep difficulties and implementing consistent bedtime routines, calming activities, and a soothing sleep environment can help alleviate these challenges and promote better sleep habits for the child. Additionally, seeking guidance from healthcare professionals may provide further support and strategies tailored to the child's specific needs.
Tips for Parents
Children often struggle to articulate their feelings accurately. While adults can express emotions verbally, children might display their feelings through emotional outbursts, sadness, sleep issues, changes in appetite, hyperactivity (sometimes stemming from masked anxiety and depression), and difficulties with communication. For instance, my daughters began experiencing trouble falling asleep at just two years old. It was a significant challenge to help them settle down independently, and I noticed they often became more talkative and energetic as bedtime approached.
At that age, my daughters were still on a nap schedule. If we skipped their nap, they would become cranky and overly tired by 6 p.m. When bedtime arrived, they struggled to fall asleep without me singing to them for extended periods. I had the patience to stay with them, but I realized they weren’t getting the restful sleep they needed. As a healthcare professional, I was familiar with various sleep strategies, but nothing seemed to work.
One night, feeling desperate, I decided to adapt a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique I had used with athletes during Peak Performance Training to suit the developmental level of my toddlers. I hoped this would be my last resort. And to my delight, it worked!
As my daughters were beginning to doze off, I gently placed my hands over their eyes and whispered, “We are going to see good dreams.” I then cradled their little heads in my hands and said, “We are going to have happy thoughts.” Finally, I placed my hands on their chests and murmured, “And we will feel happy feelings.” The key was catching them in that moment just before they drifted off to sleep—the hypnagogic state. I understood that their minds wouldn’t distinguish between the natural sensations of sleepiness and my soothing words and gestures. By reinforcing these ideas at that pivotal moment, I helped them associate falling asleep with the comforting phrases I shared.
This ritual evolved into a cherished bedtime tradition that my daughters still fondly remember. Each night, I would tuck them in, sing a song, and tell a story based on their chosen themes. One daughter loved tales of princesses and unicorns, while her twin preferred stories about magic peaches, flying worms, and talking trains. After the stories, I would kiss them goodnight and repeat our three special phrases, accompanied by the hand movements: 1. We are going to see good dreams. 2. We are going to have happy thoughts. 3. We will feel happy feelings.
Eugene Roginsky LCSW
Bridge2Horizon Psychotherapy and Counseling Services
Lincolnshire, Lake County Illinois
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